Connection is more specific than time together
The Gottman Institute uses the idea of a bid for connection: an invitation for attention, affection or support, sometimes expressed in a small everyday moment. Its discussion of responding to bids offers one lens for considering connection; it cannot tell you why a particular partner seems distant.
A missed invitation is not proof of indifference, and being physically together is not the same as feeling understood. Use these distinctions as questions to explore rather than as a scorecard for judging a relationship.
Background sources [1]
Describe what you miss without guessing the explanation
An optional preparation question is: What would feeling closer look like this week? Your answer might involve being asked about an important event, having room to finish a thought, or enjoying something together without multitasking. These are examples to help you find your own words, not obligations a partner must fulfill on demand.
Consider the difference between an observation and an interpretation. We mostly talk about logistics describes a pattern. You no longer care about me assigns its meaning. Bring both what you noticed and how it landed, while leaving the cause open for discussion. You do not need a complete explanation before asking for support.
Make room for difference and boundaries
You might want to ask a clinician how to discuss different preferences for conversation, solitude, affection or physical closeness. What would a mutually acceptable invitation sound like? How could either person decline without pressure? Shared time and touch should not become tests of loyalty.
For the first appointment, choose a question you genuinely want help with rather than a conclusion you want the therapist to confirm. Perhaps you want to understand a change after becoming parents, or how to speak about loneliness while still respecting space. These examples are discussion prompts, not an assessment of what is causing your distance.